Another How To....

Once again, I am on hold…this time its about 45 minutes worth, with the same lame, mind numbing tune playing, the kind of tune you will remember for hours-in your sleep, at a red light, watching tv, hanging in the back of your ear canal just making you crazy. Every once in a while a recording will come on ‘thank you for holding, a representative will be with you shortly… please continue to hold’. 1 hour now.

‘Hello, my name is…’ CLICK! Silence. Beep Beep Beep.

As I redial, yell at the prompts who refuse to understand basic English or allow me to punch in answers I read the paper and see yet another article on ‘How to Get Some Satisfaction Customer complaints can pay off with several basic steps’ by Greg Saitz.

“Be nice but firm”...yada, yada, yada. Guess Greg has not spoken to ‘Peter’ from Punjab, probably a nice guy, but he has no idea how we talk, try to resolve issues, understand the basic functions or operating systems of the computer/phone/tv, and for the life of me I cannot understand what he is saying. Or Mrs Martin, who is only putting her time in trying to figure out how to stonewall you at every juncture in the conversation.

“Ask for a supervisor”…uhh Greg, what planet are you on? Every company is hip to that. Supervisors do not take calls, return calls, or, if you are blessed to be passed to one, do not answer the phone.

“Keep cool”..do not yell”, Ok I’ll give him this one, even though I was on hold for an hour, disconnected, and have been on hold for yet another 45 minutes, and this is the 3rd time I calling about the same effing issue.

“Get copies of everything… go in person, call the CEO’s office”… man oh man.. How much work does a person have to do to get something corrected? OK…so I call Ivan Seidenberg’s office. (CEO Verizon Communications, (212)-395-1000). A very nice lady answers the phone, I explain my issue, she apologizes, her voice one of sweet honey with tons of understanding and empathy. She tells me she will handle the issue right away, sorry for the inconvenience. I am put on hold.

Finally, the problem will be corrected! Nirvana has been reached! Thank you Angels and Guides! Yippee! I am jumping for joy in my chair. After 3 long weeks of holds, hang-ups, rudeness, and no reply’s, I AM GOING TO GET THE HELP I NEED!

The same lame tune in my ear changes, and the extension of glory starts to ring…. And ring… and ring. ‘Thank you for calling, the mailbox is currently full, please try again.’